Thankful

I guess it goes without saying that I'm really incredibly thankful for my current pregnant state. I was talking to Patrick in the car as we were driving home from my folks after Thanksgiving dinner. I can't believe it's only been one year since I had my fibroid surgery (I had a c-section to remove a 6cm fibroid last year 11/18/08). I had pretty much resolved myself to the fact that after having three miscarriages, I was not going to be able to carry a baby to term. I hadn't even been thinking of getting pregnant, so... it was quite a shock for us both when we were faced with another pregnancy. We both knew that if I could get past the 12-week mark the baby would be in the clear.

I'm so excited and anxious to be a mom I can't hardly stand it. I do want her to stay inside me as long as possible - I'm not that anxious that I want her to be even a little bit premature. I'd really like her to cook until my scheduled c-section date 12/30/09 - Patrick's tax-credit baby.

Be thankful for what you have and keep hopeful for what could be. You never know what will happen in this life. Make your choices, stay healthy and happy and enjoy all that comes your way. Even the negative things can have positive outcomes. Just stay open to the possibilities.

~Green

34 weeks and most is well

I can't believe I'm still having morning sickness. How crazy is that?! It has diminished - I only puke once a week on average, but still...

I have the nursery mostly set up and ready for Penn to come. I just have to move the computer to another room and the chaise lounge into the nursery for me to sleep/rest/feed her on. I did have a surprise the other morning when I realized that Miss Cat discovered the crib and how comfortable it was. She loves the aquarium that sings lullabys and the folded blankets to sleep on. She has been in there at least once a day for the last three days. I feel a little sad that she will lose this perk once Penelope arrives. I suppose she can nap in the crib when there is no baby in it.

Yesterday, the government announced a crib recall - the largest number of cribs to ever be recalled. I inherited my crib from my aunt, and it has the side that comes down. I don't really feel concerned as that would have been the type that I would've purchased because I was selfishly thinking how much easier it would be for me to lower the side and pull the baby out after my c-section. I suppose I need some more information regarding how many deaths have occurred due to this type of crib, etc... Isn't this a standard design?

~ Green

Week 31 and all is well

I'M STARVING!!!!

I'm still following my diet, but it's getting harder to eat only at the times the dietician has laid out for me. She is growing like an octopus - I eat a meal and she grows in proportion to the size of that meal - she gets it all... leaving me... still hungry.

My mom, sister and aunts are throwing me a baby shower this Saturday. I'm kinda excited and then not really. It's like all of this is ending. I know I will get to see Penelope in a few weeks and that is going to be great. But I really like being pregnant (despite the gd and the nausea and the etc...). I know where she is and what she is doing and it's so easy to protect her. I can go on with my regular life (a little bit sleepy) but I have her with me all the time. I've started refering to myself as "we". I'm kinda like the borg, now. A collective. Not singular. I will lose that when she is born.

It's a time of transition, definitely. I'm ready to get on with the nesting. I don't have her room set up yet. I'm waiting for the crib and the changing table. I need to get on it - She is coming, she is coming.

~Green

Coming up on 30 week mark

Only nine weeks left in my baby journey. I can't wait to see what she looks like and how she acts. I hope that she is healthy and can be happy living with me and that I don't change into some crazy person like my own mother. I suppose you can't stop that from happening. There is already a change in me. Things like germs and safety issues are starting to impact me greatly. And the wondering.... I just can't stop...

I'm thinking about what types of activities she might want to be involved in and how to encourage her to succeed in those things without pressuring her too much. I want her to have lots of experiences and be willing to try new things. I want her to have self confidence and know that she can make decisions for herself and feel confident that she is never stuck - she is always allowed to change her mind.

There's so much to think about, but I can't plan her life - I can't lay it out like clothes on the bed. She will have free will. All I can concern myself with now is what kind of diapers to use and what type of feeding schedule she will be on.

~ Green

I'm learning so much

As I'm approaching my due date (Jan. 11, 2010) I'm learning more and more things about pregnancy and nursing. I have to obtain special "nursing clothes"; nursing bras and nursing pajamas. I just found out about a product called "Milk Band" that helps you remember which breast you used to feed your baby from the last time. I had no idea I would need a system to remember this, seemingly vital, information. I'm a smart girl - I have a college degree, but I guess in a sleep deprived state I will require this type of reminder. Here is a quick list of some important information that I have acquired:

• Women cannot sell breastmilk. They can donate it to a milk bank and then the milk bank turns around and sells it to people for $3.00/ounce.
• You can, however, find buyers on the internet and illegally sell breastmilk online for whatever price you deem appropriate.
• interesting note - the largest consumer base for illegally sold breastmilk is men (this creeps me out).
• Nursing tops are confusing  - they have holes in strange places.
• Belly salves don't work in preventing stretch marks. Stretch marks are hereditary (in my case, I have them but my mom did not - lucky for me!)
• Baby Bjorns are not the same as baby slings and baby slings, being one piece of fabric sewed together to make a circle - are expensive.
• All baby accoutrements are expensive - maternity clothes are the worst. I just saw a pair of maternity jeans online for $198.00 - if I paid that much money, I better be able to fly when I wear those.
• Maternity tops are not made for women that have large breasts to begin with. This is counterintuitive thinking to me because, it would seem, that the women with the largest hooters would be more likely to get knocked up.
• Gestational diabetes sucks!!!! (see previous post)

There are so many new things to learn and so many ways that I can fail. If I failed before I only hurt myself - in a few months, I will fail that tiny creature that swishes around in my belly, too. I know she will forgive me (heck, she may not even notice), but I will know. I want to do this mothering-thing correctly. I want to be good at it.

Week 28 and Gestational Diabetes

So... I have it - I have the gestational diabetes. It's horrible. I have to test my blood four times a day, eat every three hours and eat foods that I wouldn't normally eat and give up my favorite things (coca-cola and milk). I'm just not a big bread/pasta/rice eater and now I have to eat carbs at every meal and snack. I'm only allowed one piece of fruit a day - fruit shouldn't be bad. I guess it's just counterintuitive than I would think. Nuts count as a carb??? What???
Anyway. Other than that everything is good. We just bought a restaurant kiosk thing in the mall and are starting to build our empire. Baby is swishing around and beating the hell out of me - that's gotta be a good thing. Work is fine, it's my busy time of year... conferences and trips for doctors so I'm staying out of trouble. Write more later...


~Green

Not much to say...

So... I'm at 26 weeks. Still sick. Not as sick, just different sick. I have lost the ability to eat meat. I'm now in, what my friend Anna calls, the white food phase - I'm living off of pasta, mashed potatoes, rice, yogurt, ice cream, cereal and peanut butter sandwiches. I do eat whole wheat bread, so really, that's brown, but it's still light, easy to digest, carb-loaded kinds of things.


I'm having trouble bending over and my depth perception is really off. I lose my balance often - oh wait, I've always been a klutz - yeah, that's nothing new.


But, the good parts are feeling her move around inside my belly. It is such a strange feeling. Usually, when you have movement in your body somewhere, your brain is controlling it, so even if you are not consciously trying to move, you know that you are doing the moving. But this is so different - I am not in control of the movement in the least. It is coming from that little creature inside me. Symbiotic relationships are very complex and not something I can ever experience again.


My husband said yesterday that pregnancy is like bootcamp. You don't really like it, and had you known what it was going to be like you may not have signed up, but having gone through it, you wouldn't change it.


~ Green




PS - I just got off the phone with the doctor's office. I have to do a three-hour blood glucose screening b/c my original glucose level was high. Now I have to worry about gestational diabetes. Wonderful!!!

21 weeks

So... It's been a lot of weeks since I last posted something. I have continued to be sick just about every morning during the last fourteen weeks. It is rather unpleasant, but something I've come to rely upon. If I don't have morning sickness I worry what time of day the puking will start - since it has to happen sometime.

I had my 20 week ultrasound last week. The tech was supposed to be able to determine the sex. Baby wouldn't cooperate, so all we know is, it's a girl? I'm going to call the baby "she" and "her" until I hear otherwise. If said baby does, indeed, turn out to be a girl, her name will be Penelope.

I'm a little bit worried to have a girl. I know that my daughter will learn from me and be like her father and me, but I know how girls are... I have lived in the world. I see them on MTV and Gossip Girl - it really scares me. Boys seem so much.... I don't know what the word is... simpler, maybe. Boys seem to have an easier time making friends and they don't play the same games that girls do. I worry not so much that my daughter will play those games and act in a "girly" kind of way, but I worry that she won't fit in with the others and that she will be an outcast among the other girls.

I guess I shouldn't be worried about these things yet. I should just concentrate on what is going on now and staying healthy and baking this baby up good. I have plenty of time to worry about other stuff when I she starts school - eek!

Pregnancy - Seven Weeks

Last Wednesday, I found out that I am pregnant. This is wonderful news to me as I have had three miscarriages and two uterine surgeries in the last six years.

According to my calculations (which are not very accurate) I am seven weeks along and in the midst of the most miserable point in my morning sickness. Brushing my teeth causes me to vomit every morning and taking an iron tablet can cause me to regurgitate my entire dinner. The only thing that is helping me right now is ginger - all and any forms of ginger. I'm taking ginger capsules and drinking ginger tea. I drink tons of ginger ale and am enjoying a snack of crystallized ginger. I'm just hoping I can't possibly overdose.

On the plus side, a new study published in the Journal of Pediatrics says that children born to mothers that experienced morning sickness scored higher on IQ tests. http://www.sheknows.com/articles/809059.htm Hmmmm.... vomiting and not getting the proper nutrition in the first trimester leads to smarter kids - what?

Hawaii

Some photos from our trip to Hawaii April 2009.

Edward Would Never Do That

So... like many women I have become completely obsessed with the Twilight saga. I have read the books (twice). I purchased the DVD when it came out... let's just say I'm very familiar with the series.


Last year for my birthday, my husband wrote a blog for me telling of the top moments in our lives together. It was really sweet. I read it whenever I was having a bad day, or just wanted to be reminded of my lovely life with my husband.

This year, my husband was looking for a job and decided to erase all of his blogs one day without telling me. Many of them had been moved to his myspace page so they weren't lost to the world, but the one he wrote for me was. I was asking him one day if he was planning to blog again and he told me, "yes, but I erased all the old blogs." I asked him if he erased the blog that he wrote for me and he said, "oh, yeah. I did." I thought about it for a second and told him, "Edward would never do that."

I don't want my husband to be exactly like Edward Cullen. Who could stand to have anyone around that was so perfect - it is our flaws that give us life. And, luckily for my husband, I was able to retrieve that lovely blog he wrote for me.



~Green